Memories of Last Winter

The breeze of winter wind last year, I remember,
With discord and calamity they come to my front.
Through weep and woe, beside me they leave me never,
Even within the hail, the power I have to move on.

The cold of winter storm this year I must face,
Should be not as cold as last year it might be.
Crushing my heart, they leave me being alone,
Now being alone, even tiny breeze seems a freeze.

The Lament of Old Minister

O great man,
the one whom I see as king candidate,
you are in your way to build your own empire.

O great man,
my beloved acquaintance, friend, and family,
to walk through dangers, I give you my shoulders.

O great man,
who beloved and hailed by many people,
have you forgotten the days we walk together?

Forgot and being forgotten,
memories would decay after all.
The most important things,
constantly changing over time.

Intoxicated with woman, you forgot how to stand up for people.
Intoxicated with fame, you forgot how to not excluding people.
Intoxicated with money, you don't know anymore what is right or wrong.

O great man,
the one who is in the way to build an empire,
don't I have any value left in your eyes?

If I stay long enough,
could I prove that I'm wrong?
If I ever could turn back on time,
could I make everything to be alright?

The only comfort I could have right now,
is through this words of lamentation.

Memories of the Sky

The sky that embrace all things,
yet it support nothing,
neither supported by anything.

When I yearn for support,
I look into that vastness.
It let me fall and down,
yet it gives me room to support myself.

When I need to scream away,
I scream within that vastness.
It never gives me reply,
Yet it embraces my pain within echoing sound.

This taste, we taste it alone.
This feels, we feel it alone.
We're alone since our birth after all.
We're all alone under this sky.

Yet within this vast loneliness,
there is peace, there is bliss, there is love.

Zutto Kimi ni Soba de

Zutto Kimi ni Soba de
Throughout and Close to You
By : Masuda Yuki

From the waters of our love
Feelings we cannot express rise up
It suddenly becomes painful
When I hear your ever-present voice

In order not to make sadness bloom
In order not to kill love

Run away, run away, wherever you may go
Shaking, shaking, let your heart shake as it is
No matter what suffering comes
If I'm with you, I can overcome it

Wind the key of dreams
And see a person's sadness and strength
I'd give up anything to be
The person who can be with you that much

In order not to get lost in tomorrow
In order not to forget today

I cannot see the dark, dark path
Shine, shine, someday the light will shine brightly
I won't be afraid of anything
With you today, I'll smile

Run away, run away, wherever you may go
Shaking, shaking, let your heart shake as it is
No matter what suffering comes
If I'm with you, I can overcome it

Ichibyo no Refrain

Ichibyo no refrain
One Second of Refrainment
By : Otoha

There's glass art in my heart, that remains untangled
I only believe in you, the refrainment I feel

Used to walking to the station along that path
Taking out my umbrella on a rainy day
I gathered with my usual friends
Can't go back Can't go back, to the vending machine I leaned on

I can't find it anywhere, my heart can't be honest
I will keep looking for you, wherever you are in this world

There's glass art in my heart, that remains untangled
There's still no one who knows the true me
Lying and laughing, it was always lonely somewhere
I only believe in you, the refrainment I feel

A face I yearned for long ago
Someone who's trembling with sadness
Someday my friends will leave
I want to see you I want to see you, the person I admire

My precious feelings are already hidden deep in my heart
I will keep looking for you more than anyone else in this world

There's glass art in my heart, that remains untangled
I want to show you everything about the true me
Can you hear me? Can you not? My voice from far away
I only believe in you, the refrainment I feel

Friends and Enemies

You don't know who I used to be,
I don't know who you used to be.

Yet we met, we talk, and we walk.
Together, we known by others as friends.

Later, a little fault I found in you.

I wonder,
will we become friends, if we met on other time?
Meeting in the right time is a blessing...

You don't know who I used to be,
I don't know who you used to be.

Yet we met, we harm, we hurt.
Together, we known by others as enemies.

Later, a little kindness I found in you.

I wonder,
will we become friends, if we met on other time?
Meeting in the right time is a blessing...

Words that Touches My Nerve

Entah kenapa tiba2 malem2 sendirian gw kepikiran kata2 yang pernah 'touching my verve' ini... Well, gw ga ada maksud apa2 sih... Cm pengen sedikit ngosongin kepala aja... Lagi nggak ada temen ngobrol juga sih...

Kok loe bisa yah temenan sama dia?
Someone pernah ngomong ini ke temen gw... Entah kata2 itu maksudnya bercanda atau insult... Sempet kepikiran sih, apa maksudnya, "Loe kok bisa temenan sama orang yang nggak level kayak gitu sih?"

Adakah gw pernah salah bicara? Gw pernah nanya sama temen gw, siapa yg ngomong gtu? Gw juga nggak gegabah dan bakal langsung semprot orangnya sih... Tapi at least kalo gw tau orangnya dan gw di deket dia, gw bisa lebih hati2 dalam bercanda atau ngomong...

Mungkin juga lebih enak ngomong "kok loe bisa yah temenan sama dia?" daripada langsung mengatakan "jangan undang2 dia lagi deh kalo kita kumpul2...."

Anyway... Gw mengharap yang nggak mungkin sih... Sepertinya nggak mungkin temen gw kasi tau siapa orangnya, dan sepertinya nggak mungkin juga temen gw mao jelasin maksud kata2 itu k gw... Gw sepertinya harus berpuas dengan pembelaan temen gw aj yg ngomong, "paling nggak dia nggak makan temen..."

Don't take it too personally... Anggap aja "joke"...

Gw sangat2 nggak pandai membaca suasana... Gw susah bedain antara serius sama bercanda... Ada cerita kayak gini di dalam hidup gw; gw lagi pergi sama beberapa family... Kira2 ada pembicaraan kyk gini :

R : Nanti kita mau kemana yah?
Gw : Bukannya ke Glosis (nama restoran steik)?
R : Orang cm D (Anak nya si R) kok yg mau makan...
Gw : Oh...

Yah... Keterbatasan blog adalah nggak bisa merekam nada bicara dan suasana saat itu sih... Tapi intinya, ada "S" yang menjelaskan, kalo si R tuh tadi nggak seneng gw ngomong gitu... Tapi mungkin orangnya lebih nggak enak buat ngomong, "Loe kayak orang kelaperan banget sih! Gw cm mao kasi makan anak gw doang kok!"

Because of that, gw jadi mulai memperhatikan setiap kata yang mungkin bermakna insult... Of course this is not good... Tapi gimana caranya bedain orang bercanda sama serius? Mending tiap kata gw anggep serius dlu deh sampe ada statement yang sangat jelas sekali bahwa itu bercandaan kalo emang gw belom ngerti selera humor seseorang...

Yah... Ini gw dan pemikiran gw... Bodo amat mau ada yang nggak suka... Gw ga peduli...

Pernah ada yang ngomong begini... Dan to be honest, gw dulu juga pernah mikir kyk gini... Kalo ada sesuatu yang gw anggap bener, gw ngomong aj... Peduli setan sama orang... Nggak ada temen juga nggak mati kok... But then, it's no good... Kecuali kita siap tinggal di hutan sendirian, sebaiknya kita sedikit lebih mempertimbangkan perasaan orang... There is a dialogue something like this between me and a friend :

D : Kasian loh si ADS waktu ditaro di divisi XX...
Gw : Kenapa?
D : Iya... Dia kan ga pernah pegang kerjaan XX, tau2 ditaro gitu, atasannya galak... Tiap ditanya marah2...
Gw : Kalo gw sih bakal langsung bilang, "Gw nggak pernah pegang kerjaan XX ini, gw di kuliah nggak pernah belajar soal XX, loe harap apa sih dari gw sebenernya?"
D : ...
Gw : Menurut loe kalo gw ngomong gitu, bakal dibales apa?
D : Gw rasa itu orang nggak akan ngomong lagi sih sama loe...
Gw : Jadi harusnya gimana? Emang yg gw bilang salah?
D : Nggak salah juga... Tapi kan ada cara yang lebih baik buat nyampein nya...

That's it... Selalu ada cara yang baik... Which, menurut gw, better kalo mau approach orang, better pake cara baik2 dlu... Untuk menyampaikan sesuatu, sebaiknya dikemas dlu dengan baik, supaya orang nggak sakit hati... Bahkan jika yg mau disampein itu bener...

Another things... Selama kita masih hidup di tengah masyarakat, nggak semua pemikiran kita akan klop di masyarakat... Dan mau nggak mau... Biarpun gw sendiri nggak suka... Kita terkadang harus belajar bermuka dua... Unless, sekali lagi, kita siap untuk hidup sebatang kara...

Biarpun gw ga (merasa) bersalah, tapi gw tetep minta maaf

Kalo nggak merasa salah yah nggak usah minta maaf... Gitu aja kok repot...