Sunday, July 26, 2009

Rhytem of the Rain

Kemarin akhirnya setelah sekian laman persiapan, gw ama anak2 English Club bisa memulai expo (pameran) UKM yang bertujuan untuk mencari member baru dengan sangat baik. Semuanya berjalan dengan lancar, dekor stand yang bagus (malah katanya dekor stand kita ini salah satu dekor stand English Club yang terbaik loh, dari tahun ke tahun... ^^) bertemakan pirates, lengkap dengan peti harta dan laba2 yang kita buat sendiri, tim Quick Registration yang terus berusaha mencari New Member dengan berkeliling-keliling, banyaknya anggota yang mau regis di stand kita, pengunjung yang maen scrabble, dan performance Zombie Dance kita juga dapet banyak perhatian n' tepuk tangan.

Yah, everything is so perfect until... RAIN!!! Hehe... ^^

Yup, beberapa UKM memang dijatahkan stand di ruang terbuka oleh pihak kampus, dan beberapa tahun terakhir ini tidak pernah hujan selama expo. Dunno why, tahun ini malah kita diguyur hujan. Ngga tanggung2, hujannya dari cuma rintik2 kecil, langsung... Byur! semua orang tunggang-langgang cari tempat neduh, dan beberapa juga neduh d stand kita. Kalo boleh jujur, gara2 hujan yang tidak diperhitungkan pihak kampus ini, dan terutama juga tidak kita perhitungkan, banyak properti English Club jadi rusak. Seperti dekorasi yang sebagian besar dibuat dengan cat poster, print, dan pilox. Terus papan mainan Twister juga rusak... padahal salah satu maenan favorit d sekre tu... Katanya seh ntar papan itu di print ajha buat ngegantiin yang rusak.

Anyway, walaupun dilanda rasa kecewa, karena persiapan yang dilakukan sebulan banyak yang hancur sekejab, gw tetep salut sama semua anggota EC. Kita semua tetep semangat buat ngebenahin dan ngungsiin barang2 stand. Masih sempet2nya lagi ngungsiin pengunjung kita ke dalem gedung... (stand kita ada di lapangan parkir). Bahkan setelah semua barang selesai dibenahi, dan kita dapet kesempatan berteduh, anggota EC masih juga sempet2nya membentuk prosedur "Registrasi Darurat"... ^^ Dan hebatnya, masih ada yang daftar!!!

Yap, itulah semangat anak2 EC. Di sisi lain, ada pemandangan yang lebih meyedihkan. UKM Band mendapat jatah perform di luar kampus, dan mereka menggunakan alat2 berat milik mereka sendiri, seperti speaker, amplifier, equalizer, dll. Tapi jangan pikir speaker mereka itu seperti speaker komputer lho, speaker mereka gede2, bahkan 1 speaker ajha minimal perlu diangkat 2 orang, dan untuk mereka perform, mereka menggunakan bertumpuk-tumpuk speaker! Untuk penyelamatan darurat, mereka menutupi barang2 mereka dengan banner dan berbagai spanduk kedap air, tapi tetep ajha ada yang rembes dari bawah. Memang akhirnya semua properti UKM band itu bisa diangkat juga, cuma... tetep ngga tau berapa banyak yang rusak dan berapa kerugian mereka...

Yap, itulah sekedar "curhat singkat" mengenai expo di kampus kita... Sampai bertemu lagi!!! ^^

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By : Max Ehrmann

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Hatred

Percakapan antara gw dgn seorang teman pas gw lg BeTe bgt...

X : Why do you keeping those hatred? Hatred will bring you nowhere... Why don't you just rest and forgot those hatred?
B : Hatred is not like keeping something in the box, but rather it's like nailing a nail in the wall. Deeper the nail, harder to be released. Even if the nail could be released, the hole would lasts...

Api

Jika air tidak dapat memadamkan api,
siram dengan bensin, biarkan mengamuk.
Biarkan api itu mengamuk dengan hebat,
sampai akhirnya ia padam sendiri...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

For You

Every rain will end in rainbow,
every tears will end in smile.
Whenever you feel exhausted,
I will stand to be your strength.

Berawal dari...

Hari ini istri seorang bos cemberut,
tidak ada alasan apa2, si istri mendiamkan suaminya sepanjang pagi.

Perasaan bos jadi tidak enak,
di kantor, bawaannya si bos jadi marah2 terus.

Ada salah satu karyawan bos yg dimarahi,
dia jadi ikutan sebel juga.

Sampai rumah si karyawan memarahi istrinya untuk setiap alasan kecil,
si istri tidak bisa membalas suaminya, maka ia melimpahkan ke anaknya.

Anak si karyawan tidak mau melawan ibunya,
dia jadi berantem sama temannya di bus sekolahnya.

Si sopir jadi tidak konsentrasi menyetir bus,
jadilah 2 buah bus sekolah saling tabrakan...

Memang tidak ada korban jiwa, tapi berdampak macet dan banyak yang luka2...
Semua itu berawal dari... cemberut???

Monday, July 20, 2009

Tentang Blog ini

Akhirnya blog ini membuahkan hasil juga... Temen gw yg baca blog ini merekomendasikan gw buat ikut lomba story wiriting... Hha, berarti kualitas isi blog ini termasuk bagus donk... ^^ Beberapa hari ini juga ada beberapa orang yang comment di blog. Lumayan lah walaupun masih terhitung sepi...

Gw mendapat masukan juga dari seorang temen yang udah pernah baca blog gw, katanya isi dari blog ini terhitung "gelap"... kata "gelap" itu seh gw yg menyimpulkan, dia bilang blog gw ini... seperti ada semacam... apa gthu... yah, kalo gw tarik kesimpulan, mungkin dia mau bilang di blog gw ada semacam nuansa "gelap" dan "teriakan" yang terselubung... Menurut gw sendiri emank kadang blog ini jadi bernuansa agak "gelap" karena blog ini membahas tentang masalah2 yang terjadi dalam kehidupan manusia dan gw memasukkan filosofi ke dalamnya... Tapi orientasi blog ini adalah sebagai tempat istirahat sementara dari penatnya kehidupan, seperti yg gw tulis di bagian "untuk direnungkan" di kolom kanan...

Yah, bagaimanapun orang memandangnya, semoga paling tidak orang yang datang ke blog ini bisa memperoleh kebahagiaan... ^^

Sekian dulu yah untuk sekarang, sampai ketemu di "diary" berikutnya... mohon kritik dan saran dari pembaca semua... ^^

Saturday, July 18, 2009

To be the Best

Percakapan gw dengan seseorang di English Club tadi siang... of course this dialogue is in English...

C : Do we have to believe to get the best result?
B : To get the best result, you have to be pure like a child, beyond believe or not-believe, but pure interest and the feeling that want to know, without even thinking about what to be believed or what to be not believed.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Another Tomorrow

I made this Naruto doujin for someone who request me... Enjoy!!! ^^
Disclaimer : Masashi Kishimoto


------------------------------

"Sasuke, I love you with all of my heart! Don't leave! Or I will scream!!!"
"You're really annoying Sakura... Thank you..."

Huh? Why should I dream about that past? It's been a while since that incident... Since Sasuke leave this village... Really, tomorrow The Hawk will attack the village... At least according to the message left by the Akatsuki. I wonder what Sasuke is thinking right now... Does he still have any remnant to this village? Argh, my head wanna blow up... We, the Team Seven, always think about him... Even Sai, who never met him also share the same feeling... Now I cannot sleep again... better I take a walk until morning break.

Hey, even if I'm not intending to go here, but unconsciously I arrived here... the place where I last see Sasuke... The night breeze reach unto my bones, make me feeling numb. I'm sitting in this cold chair. I cannot thinking about anything... For a while I realize that I'm not alone... someone is here with me... "Naruto? Why are you still here?"
"I think the reason is just the same as you..."
"thinking about tomorrow?"
"Yeah..."
"........."

We are sitting in silence... I cannot find any word to be said... and so Naruto... Well, just let it be. Just for a while, we still can feel temporary peace... Even Naruto suddenly become quite when being put in this kind of situation... "Naruto, it's already late... We'd better have a rest..."
"........." He still stay silence...
"Naruto, tomorrow we will face Sasuke. We have to prepare ourself..."
"I feel tired... really tired..."
"If that so, you can stay at my house. C'mon!"

So, we walk to my house. The night air seems really cold... blended with unspeakable sadness and sorrow, we continue walking as if we are trying to avoid our own heart.
"Naruto, you can sleep at my sofa..."
"........., Thanks. I must have really troubling you..."
"No, not at all... in this kind of situation, I have to be accompanied, so I can be relieved from the pressure..."
"I'm sorry..."
"For what?"
"I can't fulfill my promise to you... I can't bring Sasuke back to Konoha"
Without any doubt, I embrace Naruto in my hands. "You've done much for me... It's enough..."
I can't afford it anymore... I shed my tears... and so Naruto... Both of us cry like a newborn baby... Still, we have to face another tomorrow, whatever it will be...

Wind

Maybe I am a person with many desire, I have much hunger and easily to be angry, because of that, seems like that no one liked to make me his friend. I have a motto, “Climbing the mountain, never coming down, break into the contents, never coming back”, it means if you try anything, never give it up easily. Yes, I am a stubborn person; I must get anything I like to be gotten!
I’m also not a good student, I often sneaking out from the classroom by the back door while teacher is still explaining, and hide in my special place, at the top of school. Ah…, why this must be happened to me? Honestly, every time I tried to sneak out from my class, my knee always shaking, like the first time I tried to do that, when I was twelve.
At least I had a friend, a person to whom I could share everything. He also liked me, he liked to flee from the class and hide at the top of our school, of course I met him for the first time at that place, when the gentle wind is blowing, and he was daydreaming. Almost every time I went there, and he would be there too. He is the first person who wants to hear me, my dreams, and we create our dreams together.
Someday, we hope all living things could live in peace, without knowing what supposed to be bad or what supposed to be good, only live to help each other in happiness. Nothing could make us sad or cry, nothing could make us feeling pain. We’d like to grant that dream, someday…
Many moments we had past, month to month, season to another season. I wondered that it feels like being with brothers, because I never had a brother or sister…
One time, unluckily, someone caught me when I was sneaking out from the classroom. Although he has no reason to asked me to come back, he admonished me, I tried to ignore him, then he railed at me two times, but I didn’t care, waiting to hear his anger is wasting for people like me.
Of course then I went to school’s top after ignoring him. As usual, I meet my friend there. But something strange, the atmosphere is not good; I see his face is very pale. So I asked him, “Hi there! Why? Are you sick? I see your face is unusual…”
“You…” He answered, “From now, don’t you ever tried to meet me again, especially at this place…”
“W…Why? Have I done wrong to you? Have I…”
“No, you are my friend, but I have my own dream to be reached, it would never be reached if I always accompany you to flee from classes, everyone told me so, and I know that’s right”
“But how about our dreams, the dreams we’ve made up…”
“Dreams are dreams, and will never change. I ain’t gonna play with the fool anymore, because I still have my remaining live to fix my mistake”
“What! You say our dreams are foolish mistake!!”
“Yes, you’ve just said it, now I have to go…”
Crack! Unconsciously I hit his face, while shouting at him: “Fine! Go then! But I never give up my dreams! You loser…” After that I run as fast as I can, he don’t say anything, he don’t event chase me to hit me back. For the last time, I turn my head to see him; he is still down, touching his cheek which hit by me, and he is staring at me.
I run to the school’s warehouse, lock the door, and have a daydreaming there, like him when I met for the first time. Where is my fault? I wondered, is it a fault when you have a dream? Even your dream seems probably can’t be reached? I tried to understand him, but why… I can’t… Finally, I am not a wise man, even though I’ve tried to…
When I come back to my class, I found no one. Hey! School time is over, everyone had gone home, and I must go too. For the first time since I ever had a friend, I walk to my home alone. Seems like my head is very light, my foot like if it is not touching the ground, feels like I have no existence, and my mind is lost somewhere. I event can’t response everything happened near me. The last screen I see is there is a truck which move quickly goes over me. My body darted off, and I lost my consciousness…

***

Have I already died? I can’t feel anything… Is it the feeling when you’re already died? Everything so cold, I become numb…
What’s that light? Wait, I haven’t died, I still can open my eyes… Finally, the first thing I see is my best friend’s face, he is sleeping beside me. No one but only him, even my parents are not here, and I know that they would not ever come. I think they hate me since I haven’t born yet. “Hey! You’re awake, doctor! Come here, he’s awake!” My friend says while opening his sleepy eyes.
“Ssh, you’ll make the others awake too. Moreover, why you’re here? Didn’t you say that you don’t like to see me again?”
“I’m sorry, but I only want to motivate you to be a more realistic person, do you think that I’m serious? I’m not a person who can dump my friend after all, I just want to make you a better person, you won’t be happy if you’re only make a relation with me, I hope you could have a lot of friend to whom you could share your dreams if I get out from your live, I just…”
I see he shed tears, “Don’t cry, cause you’re so right, I wouldn’t be happy with all of my dreams, my fantasy… It’s all impossible to be reached. I’ve chosen a wrong path because I don’t believe in you. I even drained out because your fakeness, without understand what actually you want to told me, I really hate myself in the end…”
“No! Don’t hate yourself, you’re not the one who wrong, only me…, only me the wrong one! I’ve made a really big mistake…”
“Don’t blaming yourself… My time is already up, please promise for me…”
“You shouldn’t say that, you will live, you’ve awaken already, doctor said, you’ll pass the critical condition once you awake…”
“I know the thing what should be happened to me more than everyone else. Not the doctor, not also you. At least, this is my only last will, I never ask you something before, so promise for me, fulfill my last and only wish, my last dream.”
“Yes… I promise, I will do everything for you”
“Good. Promise for me that you will live happier than before, have more friends; you must live until you see your child growing, and reach whatever your dream. You must do that, even without me. Don’t you ever fall in the same wrong way and ended up like me.”
“Ok, I promise, but only if you could stay alive…”
“Don’t be childish. We know, someday we will apart each other when we become adult. We will busy with our family and don’t have time to visit each other. Someday we will apart, with or without this kind of event. And this is my final word, grant my wish or I won’t rest in peace!”
“I promise… I promise I will live happier than before, I will have much friend, and I will live to see my child growing…”
“And…”
“And I won’t ended up like… you”
“Thank you very much… I’m really sleepy, I want to rest for a while… I’m not fear, I’m won’t fear to something I don’t understand, I will face it… When I’m awaken, I promise, I will enjoy my next live…”
My eyes feel heavy, I know my friend is shouting something, but I can’t hear him. I could see all of memories during my live like a chain… Ah, I still can open my eyes a little, all of medic team are trying to bring me live again, but it’s useless…

***

Summer has come. I just get my test result, the score was perfect! And I‘ve been recommended to jump the second class of senior high school. But I don’t want to jump my class, because I will lost many friend.
By the way, yesterday there was a new student at my class. Although he is a new student, we’ve been a good friend, and I promise I will come to his house today at three…
Oh no! I forgot, now I have to hurry, It almost three! I run and get my bike and paddle it as fast as I can. When I arrived there, I knock the door and someone open it. He is a man about 20 years old, but who is this person? My friend told me that he only live with his father and his mother already past away.
“You must be my son’s friend, I’ve just ask him to go to shop to buy coffee, he will be back in a few minute, you can wait for him inside, come in.” He is smiling at me.
“Oh, thank you sir…” I really shocked, If he is really my friend’s father, he should be around 30 years old, but how come he looks so young, like nothing had make him stressed.
“What are you staring at, boy?”
“I think we’ve been met before sir, or maybe that’s only my feeling. Moreover, you just moved here right?”
“Yes, of course. But that’s really strange. I think that we’ve been met before too, your face seems familiar for me. Ah sorry, please have a sit; I will take some cookies and tea for you.”
Then as I sit, he goes to the kitchen and preparing everything for me. He come back and brings a plate of cookies and 2 cups of tea. He sits in front of me.
“Now I remember, your face is like my friend’s face when I was the same age as you”
“And now, where’s your friend?”
“He was died. He used to live regretfully; he thought that nobody loved him. But that isn’t true, at his burial; I saw many people came, his parents, all of teacher, his classmates, and many more. They really sorry because he died so young. Actually, he could be a good man if he didn’t take the wrong way.”
“Why did he die sir?”
“The accident that caused by me. I tried to support him but in the wrong way, and he didn’t understand. He was really angry to me. I didn’t really know the chronology of the accident, but then one of the medic team called me, because they only found my phone number at his phone book.”
“I’m sorry to ask you that. By the way, did you life regretfully because of that?”
“No… His last will is I have to live happier, got more friends, live to see my child growing, and not ended up like him. It’s a promise. I don’t know if I’ve fulfill his last will, but at least, I live happily now. Many moments I’ve passed, but nothing could make me really sad, except his burial and my wife’s burial.”
What is this? I see something, something flowing trough my head, a slide of memories, no, it’s chain of memories…
“Why you touch your head? Do you feel dizzy?”
“No, you can continue your story.”
“Nothing else, the story was ended. But I wondered if I already fulfill my promise, his last will.”
Somehow I understand something, and saying while smiling: “Yes, you have! You’ve already fulfill your promise, his last will, my last will.”
He seems to be a bit shocked too, but then he smiles at me. “So you do. You’ve promised to enjoy your live when you’ve awaken, and I can see it…”
“Father! I’m home!”
“Ah, you’ve come home, Jun; your friend is already waiting for you”
“Oh, hi, please go upstairs to my room and wait for me there.”
“Thanks”
When I stand to go to upstairs, Jun’s father says once again: “Now, be a good boy Hiroshi, remember you’ve promised.”
“And remember to stay happy Satoshi.”
“Hey, Kitaro, what are waiting for, let’s go.”
“Alright, alright, let’s go to your room”
Then we play game at Jun’s room. He asks me something: “Why did you know my father’s name, I don’t remember I ever told you about that, and why did my father called you Hiroshi, Kitaro?”
“My name was used to be Hiroshi...”
“And how can my father know it? I become more confuse.”
“I don’t know, I only called your father’s name spontaneously, I didn’t even think that it was his real name, so I think your father did the same.”
“Wow, that’s wonderful.”
“Yes, and if your eyes are good enough, you will see that this live is filled with many wonderful things.”
Now my name is Kitaro, which mean a happy child. I promise I will live happily along this live period. Enjoy your life because it’s really short, like a flowing wind.

2 Hari...

Entah kenapa 2 hari ini gw merasa teramat sangat BeTe...

What a hard day... kemaren gw mau coba bawa mobil ke Binus... emank seh gw baru 1 minggu belajar mobil... Jadi... masih banyak masalah... Mulai dari setir yang ga stabil di jalan tol, sampe salah masuk jalur dan hampir2 digedor ama tukang parkirnya. Sampe2 ke Binus, rasanya kayak ud ngga ada badan... capek fisik dan mental... Hahh... Untung terus mobilnya gw kasi orang tua gw... biar dia yg suru bawa... Daripada gw terus musingin yg ud lewat, mending gw menghibur diri dengan beli makanan yang agak enak dan minum juz...

Hari ini, gw mestinya nonton Harrp Potter sama 6 temen gw yg laen... tapi... gara2 pagi ini ada insiden bom d JW Marriot sama Ritz Caltron, gw jadi dilarang ortu gw maen k mall2... Ga tau lagi gw harus berbuat apa... gw ud ngga tau lagi mau marah ke siapa juga...

Ya sdh lah, ashita wa yatte kuru... hari esok pasti kan datang... berharap saja besok lebih baik...

Satu

Walaupun mungkin kita tinggal berjauhan,
dan memiliki budaya berbeda,
kita hidup di bawah langit yang sama,
dibawah matahari yang sama...

Walaupun kita menganut agama yang berbeda,
dengan para nabi dan guru yang berbeda,
kita percaya akan Satu Tuhan,
sumber segala cinta dan kebijaksanaan...

Adakah matahari di Jepang berbeda dengan matahari di India dan matahari di Indonesia?
Apalagi yang perlu diperdebatkan?

Pengalaman

Ayah sedang merokok...
Bukankah merokok itu tidak baik bagi kesehatan?
Kamu anak kecil tahu apa?

Ibu membuang sampah sembarangan...
Bukankah sampah seharusnya dibuang ke tong sampah?
Biarlah, sekali-kali kok... lagian tong sampahnya jauh...

Paman senang melakukan korupsi...
Kenapa korupsi? Nanti ditangkap polisi lho...
Alah, kalo paman kaya kamu juga yang kecipratan...

Kakak berbohong kepada ayah dan ibu...
Kalo bohong nanti masuk neraka lho...
Diam kamu! Awas ya kalo bilang-bilang!

Kakek setiap hari marah-marah...
Bukannya marah-marah bisa bikin darah tinggi?
Kamu tahu apa? Kakek sudah lebih banyak pengalaman dari kamu!

Nenek salah menuduhku...
Kalau salah bukannya harus minta maaf?
Eh, kecil2 sudah kurang ajar ya kamu!

Kami memang hanya anak2, miskin pengalaman...
Tetapi apa yang keluar dari mulut kami adalah benar!
Kenapa orang dewasa justru lebih kanak2 daripada kami?
Tidak mau dinasehati dan sulit mengeluarkan kata "maaf"?

Sesungguhnya bukan berapa banyaknya pengalaman yang kita lewati yang menjadikan kita dewasa.
Berapa banyak kita belajar dari pengalaman kita yang minim, itulah yang bisa menjadikan seseorang dewasa.

Buku adalah sumber pengetahuan,
tetapi kalau tidak dibaca, ia tidak lebih dari sampah.
Pengalaman adalah guru yang baik,
tetapi kalau kita tidak mau belajar darinya,
berapa banyakpun pengalaman datang menghampiri kita,
ia menjadi tidak beda dari sampah juga...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Innocence Sin

It’s really cold tonight, and I haven’t got any food since morning. Aw, I tried to wash my wounded palm; I thought that doing this would make the wound better, but I’ve mistaken. The wound seems to be more painful. I was born in this family twelve years ago, by a mistake. My father was made his affair partner to be pregnant. Although she didn’t take care of me, she didn’t abort me, because my father actually wanted to take care of me, even if I am a son of his sins.
I used to live happily with my father; he really loved me, except all remaining family member. They thought I would bring misfortune to this family. I never blame them. Maybe that’s right, because since I came to this family, people spoke badly about my father, they even spitting in front of this family’s house. My existence brings nothing but only trouble.
But every time I talked about this to father, he only smiles and say: “That’s alright, they only jealous to us because we’re a great couple of son and father. Nobody born with sin; everyone is innocent when they born and I don’t believe in misfortune or something like that.” I always glad to hear him saying that, he often defend me when my family tried to did something wrong to me, until one day, he was sick. Everyone thought that it was me who caused his illness. I wanted to saw him at that moment, but nobody allowed me to. I was sneaking to visit him. He was very happy to saw me came, but unfortunately, someone knew I came there and told to family member. My father’s first son (which mean my brother, although he never thought I am his brother) suddenly came and hit my head until it was bleeding. I didn’t understand why, but next, my father touched his left chest and fell down. He died after all and all of family said that that was my fault, and since then, I live tortured under the pressure of my remaining family.
They often hit me, and ask me to work very hard they will let me to stop working after I fainted. Until today I only obey their command because, I couldn’t do anything because they are my only family. Sometimes I think how if I just die to end my suffering. But I remember I have promised to my father to stay alive even though I have faced every kind of obstacle in my life.
After I finish washing my wounded hand. I come back to home. And I should continue moving some bag of rice and when I begin to carry on my back, someone push me until I fall and the rice is spilled out. Suddenly my eldest brother come and whip me three times without say anything and he kick me too. I only can crying and my eldest brother ask me to clean the spilled out rice after clean the rice I carry some bag of rice again. After do all of the work, I feel hurt all of my body. As I try to heal my body, unintentionally I hear all of my family member are talking each other.
“Have you ever thing that Alex only bring many troubles all of the time?”
“Yes, I agree with you, he only bring ashamed to our family !”
“How if we killed him and buried his body at our backyard nobody would know?”
“Yes, that’s good idea!”
I astonished to hear that, suddenly my legs feel limp and I fall. My fallen body makes a voice which can be heard by them.
“Whose there?”
“That’s Alex, chase him!”
With my body trembled, I run as fast as I can. They run after me while bringing samurai. Incidentally one of my family stumbled and his sword thrown beside me. Suddenly my instinct to defend my life awaken. I take the sword and kill everyone without ever think about it before. when my mind is coming back to the reality I realize is full of fresh blood and nobody life except me.
After that I clean my body from the blood, gathering all of my families body to he house and burn it all.
Father, I have fulfilled my promised to stay alive even though I’ve been a sinner. Am I still remain innocent in your eyes?
Now I have to travel around the world to unknown future. But I’m very happy can be freed from the pressure of my family.

By : Josafat/XI IPA/18

Rain

It’s been a while time since I inherited my family’s onsen (hot spring) and inn business. I live alone in this place while managing my business because my parents died in their travel through the sea last month. Luckily I wasn’t with them. Moreover, with or without them won’t change my condition. They often left me since my childhood. The only one who took care of me was my grandma. She died when I was fifteen. She used to manage this inn, and she taught me how to do that too, so I could earn a living even without her or my parents. I wonder if my parents really love me.
Managing this inn isn’t difficult although I don’t have any servants. Not many people come here, because it’s located on the almost isolated hills. But at least the cost for living here isn’t too much. An earning from one people can be used by me for a couple of weeks. People who come at summer are more than at winter, and I must be smart to save the earnings from summer to be used later.
It’s raining today. I really hate the rain, because it brings thunder. I really scared when I hear thunder’s sound. It also reminds me about my grandma. When she was alive, I always run to her when rain. The rain also reminds me about my grandma’s burial. But like or not, I must stay awake and waiting for someone who might come here. Maybe there will be a traveler who searched for a place to stay for one night. It seems that a storm would occur tonight.
I don’t have to wait for a long time. When I see at the outside, there is a man who looked curious while seeing at this building, so I asked him to come in. “Hey, are you looking for a place to stay tonight? You can come and stay here”
“Is this an inn?”
“Yes, of course”
Then he comes closer. His cloth is wet. His body is really thin and his face is pale. I also see a black circle on his eyes. “Are you ill? You look thin and pale”
“No, I looked like this since I was born”
“Oh, forgive me. Please follow me, I will show you your room”
Then I guide him to his room. “This inn also includes onsen facilities. You can go there to warm your body if you want”
“Thanks, but can I borrow a piece of yukata (daily kimono)? I only bring this wet cloth with me now”
“Ok, I will send that to you”
I remember there are still many pieces of my parents clothing, so I go to the warehouse to take some. Then I go back to his room. “Here is your yukata sir… oh, I… I’m sorry; I forgot to knocked the door” I close the door at the moment. He is shirtless, because he spread his cloth in front of the window to dry it.
“That’s alright, give me my cloth” He open the door a bit and stick his hand out to me. I give him the yukata and get away to the kitchen to prepare his meal.
I think he is a weird man although he doesn’t look like that. But I don’t care about it. For me he is just a mere guest and that’s all. I go to the warehouse again to take some fish and vegetable because the stocks in kitchen are running out. When I come out from kitchen and walk to the warehouse, the man asks me,”Where do you want to go?”
“To the warehouse near here”
“We haven’t introduced each other, my name is Seta and you are?
“Aiko, you can call me Ai”
“Okay Ai, pleased to meet you”
After a short conversation, I leave him and go to the warehouse but then I forget what I want to do there. So I go back to the dining room and Seta was there. I look him, his very pale face and his black circle eyes with wondering expression. “Where’s the food? I’m so hungry,” said Seta. Then I realize that I forget to take the food from warehouse. ”Sorry, the food isn’t ready, go back to your room and when the food is ready, I will call you,” I said. Seta back to his room with smile and I think he knows that I’m nervous because of him. Tonight a huge storm occurs and I can’t imagine what kind of noisy voice the thunder brings. Suddenly a thunder strike near and I decide to walk to the place where I can feel safe. I close my door and when I want to leave my room I surprise that there is somebody walk to my place now. And slowly but sure, I begin to see that person. “Oh my God, what are you doing? You almost make my heart attacked. “Sorry, I don’t want to make you surprise, I just can’t sleep because the thunder” said Seta.
“I just know that there is a man that scared by thunder”
“I’m not afraid of thunder, I just remember my parents burial”
“You’re same with me”
Then I feel a strange feeling, is this love?
Seta and I decide to go to the dining room because we can’t sleep. In there, we talk about our live, our hobbies, our favorite food and many more. That time, I realize that me and Seta are really close. I feel that I have a new friend or maybe a boyfriend? That night, is the first time for me to smile since my grandma died.
Two weeks has passed since Seta comes. He brings a new life to me. He makes me smile, laugh, happy, and many other feelings that I have buried in the deep of my heart. He also helps me to serve the guests. Then I decide to take him to the place that has many meanings for me.
“This is very beautiful, what is this place?”
“This place called lake fireflies. The legend said that if you make a wish in this lake, your wish will come true”
“Oh, is that true? I want to make a really big wish”
“What is it?”
“I wish we will meet again”
“Why you say that?”
“I must go to my hometown and it’s very far away from here. Now I must say the truth, my hometown was attacked by the emperor soldiers and I must go there to save my hometown”
“Why? Why don’t you tell me earlier? Okay, you can go but promise me you will survive and meet me here. I’ll always waiting you here until you come back.
“Okay, I’ll go now. I promise I will be back soon. Until that, wait for me.”
Every day I always go to the lake of fireflies to wait him but he doesn’t come. I wonder if he will come back and I can hold him tightly, tell him about my daily activity after he left and I can laugh with him again. Now I’m preparing to go there again, as the rain is coming. I wonder if I will meet him today. When I arrived, I see someone standing there. As I comes near, I realize that he is Seta. I run and hold him tightly then I kiss him under the rain.

By : Vicky / XI IPA / 33

Whenever...

Whenever I feel sad,
let me see your brilliance smile,
like a sun trough the rain...

Whenever I feel anger,
let me be embraced by you,
to feel your warmth closely...

Whenever I feel tired,
let me rest by your side,
anywhere will do...

Haven't you realized yet?
Your existences gives me hope...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Melepas Beban

Dahulu, ada seorang tahanan perang yang keesokan paginya akan dihukum mati... Malamnya, ia sangat gelisah, cemas, takut, dan tidak bisa tidur. Ia hanya mondar-mandir mengelilingi sel-nya. Kemudian sejenak ia berhenti, "Kalaupun aku terus gelisah dan takut, tidak akan ada yang berubah... Masa depan adalah ilusi, lebih baik aku tidur sekarang..." Maka tahanan itupun segera tertidur dengan nyaman seperti anak bayi...

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Raja Daud pernah melakukan dosa besar... Ia mengambil istri orang lain untuk ia jadikan sebagai istrinya. Tuhan sangat murka akan hal itu. Ia mengutus nabi-Nya untuk meberitahukan Daud mengenai hukuman yang harus diterimanya. Ia akan kehilangan anak dari istri yang direbutnya itu. Setelah mendengar kabar tersebut, ia menyesal dan berusaha memohon ampunan Tuhan. Siang malam ia berdoa dan berpuasa tanpa henti, namun Tuhan tetap mengambil anaknya. Ketika ia mendengar kabar tentang kematian anaknya, ia segera berhenti berdoa dan mengambil makanan. Pelayannya heran dan menanyakan, "Ketika anak Anda sakit Anda terus berdoa dan berpuasa, namun kenapa ketika anak Anda meninggal Anda malah berhenti berdoa dan makan?" "Kemarin anakku masih hidup dan aku masih bisa berharap ampunan dari-Nya, sekarang anakku sudah mati, apakah dengan aku terus berdoa dan berpuasa anakku dapat hidup kembali?"

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Ada seorang petani yang menanam pohon apel. Ia rajin menyiraminya dan memberi pupuk. Tetapi karena tabiat petani itu yang tidak sabar, ia berusaha mempercepat pertumbuhan pohon itu dengan menarik-nariknya, sehingga seseorang menegurnya, "Anda tidak bisa mempercepat pertumbuhan pohon itu dengan menarik-nariknya..." Tetapi petani itu tidak menghiraukan saran orang tersebut. Ia tetap berusaha mempercepat pertumbuhan pohon itu dengan menarik-nariknya, sampai suatu ketika pohon itu benar-benar tertarik bersama akar-akarnya dan tidak mungkin ditanam lagi. Ia jadi kehilangan semua yang seharusnya dapat dinikmatinya kelak... hanya bila ia dapat bersabar dan menunggu...

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Waktu SMA dulu, gw suka stress sehabis ujian. Gelisah karena merasa tidak bisa atau takut dapet jelek. Kadang gelisah cuma sebentar, kadang berjam-jam, pernah juga berhari-hari... Tapi, dengan gw gelisah sekalipun, jawaban yang ada di kertas ujian tidak akan berubah, kecuali terjadi mukjizat... Kalau mau gelisah, gelisahlah ketika mengerjakan ujian, bukan sehabis mengumpulkan kertas ujian. Lepaskan apa yang sudah tidak mungkin dirubah, berjuang hanya selama ada yang dapat dirubah...

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4 cerita ini memang berdiri sendiri-sendiri dan terpisah. Namun inti ketiganya adalah sama. Malang tidak dapat ditolak, untung tidak dapat dicari. Bila kita sudah melakukan segala yang terbaik, dan proses yang bisa kita kerjakan sudah selesai semuanya tanpa ada yang bisa dirubah lagi, itulah waktunya kita istirahat dan melepas semua beban. Menunggu memang menyebalkan, tapi ada kalanya kita memang hanya bisa menunggu. Hanya ada 2 pilihan, menghadapi yang tidak bisa dirubah dengan gembira, atau menghadapinya dengan gelisah. Bagaimanapun cara kita menghadapinya, kenyataanya tidak akan ada yang berubah lagi. Apakah tahanan yang akan dihukum mati bisa merubah keputusan hakim dengan gelisah dan mondar mandir? Apakah Daud bisa menghidupkan anaknya kembali dengan terus berpuasa dan berdoa setelah anaknya mati? Apakah petani itu dapat mempercepat panen dengan menarik pohonnya? Apakah jawaban di kertas ujian bisa berubah dengan bersusah hati setelah ujian?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Mimpi

X : (Terbangun dari tidurnya dengan tergesa-gesa dan nafas yg tidak teratur... Sekujur tubuhnya dipenuhi keringat dingin)

Y : Ada apa? Apakah kamu bermimpi buruk?

X : Apakah mimpi buruk? Aku sendiri juga tidak tahu... Namun aku merasa bahwa hidupku akhir2 ini hanya sebatas di dalam mimpi saja... Dan nanti ketika "aku" yang sebenarnya terbangun, maka "aku" yang sekarang akan lenyap...

Y : Bahkan "aku" yang sekarang sudah bukanlah "aku" yang dulu lagi... "aku" yang dulu sudah lenyap dan tidak akan pernah kembali lagi... Sekarang kamu melihat aku sebagai seorang therapist, sementara dulu aku pernah menjadi anak2, siswa, mahasiswa, dll... Apakah "aku" yang sekarang ini masih merupakan "aku" yang dulu? Bahkan "aku" yang ada di 1 detik lalu tidak akan pernah kembali lagi...

X : Jadi, tidak ada yang perlu ditakuti?

Y : Ya... Karena segala sesuatu yang berlalu memang tidak akan kembali, dan setiap satuan waktu terkecil, segalanya selalu berubah... Istirahatlah kembali, semua ini hanya mimpi...

*disadur dari sebuah anime dengan sedikit perubahan... maaf, judulnya lupa... ^^

Monday, July 6, 2009

Iro wa ni Hoedo

Fragrance hue shall wilt,
as you and I shall not always be.
Crossing on the mount of illusion on this day,
to the soberness do dreams fleet.

Seneng Campur Be Te...

BNEC ultah ke 17 tahun!!! Minggu kemarin gw ikut ke perayaannya... Wah, dipikir-pikir gw nekad juga yah, Senin ud UAS Kalkulus, Minggu masi maen2... Tapi gw masi tahu berapa jauh capability gw, karena gw merasa sanggup, ya gw akhirnya ikut ke perayaan BNEC n' having fun disana. Gila, gw ngumpulin foto sampe ratusan disana...

Besoknya, UAS terakhir... Kalkulus... Maybe I won't get 100 for sure, but if my prediction is not mistaken, at least I will get 85-90. Haha, selesai UAS anak2 BNEC ud nagih fotonya... Belom gw upload lah, wong semalem ajha gw nginep ke kosan temen, sekalian belajar bareng... Lega rasanya UAS udah berakhir.

Maunya seh pulang langsung mandi terus tidur... Eh, baru masuk rumah udah dibanjiri "informasi" dari sana-sini... gw dari bahagia langsung senewen neh... mending gw tidur ajha. Bangun tidur gw udah lupa seh tentang senewen tadi, ngga taunya gw disuru ini itu dengan nada yg ngga ngenakin. Aduuuuuh!!! habis UAS maunya happy2 malah jadi be te... Padahal tadi gw udah seneng2 karena semua UAS diselesaikan dengan lancar...

Ya sudah lah, setengah jam lagi gw mau kursus setir mobil... Semoga dari sini seterusnya hari2 berjalan lancar...