Friday, July 17, 2009

Wind

Maybe I am a person with many desire, I have much hunger and easily to be angry, because of that, seems like that no one liked to make me his friend. I have a motto, “Climbing the mountain, never coming down, break into the contents, never coming back”, it means if you try anything, never give it up easily. Yes, I am a stubborn person; I must get anything I like to be gotten!
I’m also not a good student, I often sneaking out from the classroom by the back door while teacher is still explaining, and hide in my special place, at the top of school. Ah…, why this must be happened to me? Honestly, every time I tried to sneak out from my class, my knee always shaking, like the first time I tried to do that, when I was twelve.
At least I had a friend, a person to whom I could share everything. He also liked me, he liked to flee from the class and hide at the top of our school, of course I met him for the first time at that place, when the gentle wind is blowing, and he was daydreaming. Almost every time I went there, and he would be there too. He is the first person who wants to hear me, my dreams, and we create our dreams together.
Someday, we hope all living things could live in peace, without knowing what supposed to be bad or what supposed to be good, only live to help each other in happiness. Nothing could make us sad or cry, nothing could make us feeling pain. We’d like to grant that dream, someday…
Many moments we had past, month to month, season to another season. I wondered that it feels like being with brothers, because I never had a brother or sister…
One time, unluckily, someone caught me when I was sneaking out from the classroom. Although he has no reason to asked me to come back, he admonished me, I tried to ignore him, then he railed at me two times, but I didn’t care, waiting to hear his anger is wasting for people like me.
Of course then I went to school’s top after ignoring him. As usual, I meet my friend there. But something strange, the atmosphere is not good; I see his face is very pale. So I asked him, “Hi there! Why? Are you sick? I see your face is unusual…”
“You…” He answered, “From now, don’t you ever tried to meet me again, especially at this place…”
“W…Why? Have I done wrong to you? Have I…”
“No, you are my friend, but I have my own dream to be reached, it would never be reached if I always accompany you to flee from classes, everyone told me so, and I know that’s right”
“But how about our dreams, the dreams we’ve made up…”
“Dreams are dreams, and will never change. I ain’t gonna play with the fool anymore, because I still have my remaining live to fix my mistake”
“What! You say our dreams are foolish mistake!!”
“Yes, you’ve just said it, now I have to go…”
Crack! Unconsciously I hit his face, while shouting at him: “Fine! Go then! But I never give up my dreams! You loser…” After that I run as fast as I can, he don’t say anything, he don’t event chase me to hit me back. For the last time, I turn my head to see him; he is still down, touching his cheek which hit by me, and he is staring at me.
I run to the school’s warehouse, lock the door, and have a daydreaming there, like him when I met for the first time. Where is my fault? I wondered, is it a fault when you have a dream? Even your dream seems probably can’t be reached? I tried to understand him, but why… I can’t… Finally, I am not a wise man, even though I’ve tried to…
When I come back to my class, I found no one. Hey! School time is over, everyone had gone home, and I must go too. For the first time since I ever had a friend, I walk to my home alone. Seems like my head is very light, my foot like if it is not touching the ground, feels like I have no existence, and my mind is lost somewhere. I event can’t response everything happened near me. The last screen I see is there is a truck which move quickly goes over me. My body darted off, and I lost my consciousness…

***

Have I already died? I can’t feel anything… Is it the feeling when you’re already died? Everything so cold, I become numb…
What’s that light? Wait, I haven’t died, I still can open my eyes… Finally, the first thing I see is my best friend’s face, he is sleeping beside me. No one but only him, even my parents are not here, and I know that they would not ever come. I think they hate me since I haven’t born yet. “Hey! You’re awake, doctor! Come here, he’s awake!” My friend says while opening his sleepy eyes.
“Ssh, you’ll make the others awake too. Moreover, why you’re here? Didn’t you say that you don’t like to see me again?”
“I’m sorry, but I only want to motivate you to be a more realistic person, do you think that I’m serious? I’m not a person who can dump my friend after all, I just want to make you a better person, you won’t be happy if you’re only make a relation with me, I hope you could have a lot of friend to whom you could share your dreams if I get out from your live, I just…”
I see he shed tears, “Don’t cry, cause you’re so right, I wouldn’t be happy with all of my dreams, my fantasy… It’s all impossible to be reached. I’ve chosen a wrong path because I don’t believe in you. I even drained out because your fakeness, without understand what actually you want to told me, I really hate myself in the end…”
“No! Don’t hate yourself, you’re not the one who wrong, only me…, only me the wrong one! I’ve made a really big mistake…”
“Don’t blaming yourself… My time is already up, please promise for me…”
“You shouldn’t say that, you will live, you’ve awaken already, doctor said, you’ll pass the critical condition once you awake…”
“I know the thing what should be happened to me more than everyone else. Not the doctor, not also you. At least, this is my only last will, I never ask you something before, so promise for me, fulfill my last and only wish, my last dream.”
“Yes… I promise, I will do everything for you”
“Good. Promise for me that you will live happier than before, have more friends; you must live until you see your child growing, and reach whatever your dream. You must do that, even without me. Don’t you ever fall in the same wrong way and ended up like me.”
“Ok, I promise, but only if you could stay alive…”
“Don’t be childish. We know, someday we will apart each other when we become adult. We will busy with our family and don’t have time to visit each other. Someday we will apart, with or without this kind of event. And this is my final word, grant my wish or I won’t rest in peace!”
“I promise… I promise I will live happier than before, I will have much friend, and I will live to see my child growing…”
“And…”
“And I won’t ended up like… you”
“Thank you very much… I’m really sleepy, I want to rest for a while… I’m not fear, I’m won’t fear to something I don’t understand, I will face it… When I’m awaken, I promise, I will enjoy my next live…”
My eyes feel heavy, I know my friend is shouting something, but I can’t hear him. I could see all of memories during my live like a chain… Ah, I still can open my eyes a little, all of medic team are trying to bring me live again, but it’s useless…

***

Summer has come. I just get my test result, the score was perfect! And I‘ve been recommended to jump the second class of senior high school. But I don’t want to jump my class, because I will lost many friend.
By the way, yesterday there was a new student at my class. Although he is a new student, we’ve been a good friend, and I promise I will come to his house today at three…
Oh no! I forgot, now I have to hurry, It almost three! I run and get my bike and paddle it as fast as I can. When I arrived there, I knock the door and someone open it. He is a man about 20 years old, but who is this person? My friend told me that he only live with his father and his mother already past away.
“You must be my son’s friend, I’ve just ask him to go to shop to buy coffee, he will be back in a few minute, you can wait for him inside, come in.” He is smiling at me.
“Oh, thank you sir…” I really shocked, If he is really my friend’s father, he should be around 30 years old, but how come he looks so young, like nothing had make him stressed.
“What are you staring at, boy?”
“I think we’ve been met before sir, or maybe that’s only my feeling. Moreover, you just moved here right?”
“Yes, of course. But that’s really strange. I think that we’ve been met before too, your face seems familiar for me. Ah sorry, please have a sit; I will take some cookies and tea for you.”
Then as I sit, he goes to the kitchen and preparing everything for me. He come back and brings a plate of cookies and 2 cups of tea. He sits in front of me.
“Now I remember, your face is like my friend’s face when I was the same age as you”
“And now, where’s your friend?”
“He was died. He used to live regretfully; he thought that nobody loved him. But that isn’t true, at his burial; I saw many people came, his parents, all of teacher, his classmates, and many more. They really sorry because he died so young. Actually, he could be a good man if he didn’t take the wrong way.”
“Why did he die sir?”
“The accident that caused by me. I tried to support him but in the wrong way, and he didn’t understand. He was really angry to me. I didn’t really know the chronology of the accident, but then one of the medic team called me, because they only found my phone number at his phone book.”
“I’m sorry to ask you that. By the way, did you life regretfully because of that?”
“No… His last will is I have to live happier, got more friends, live to see my child growing, and not ended up like him. It’s a promise. I don’t know if I’ve fulfill his last will, but at least, I live happily now. Many moments I’ve passed, but nothing could make me really sad, except his burial and my wife’s burial.”
What is this? I see something, something flowing trough my head, a slide of memories, no, it’s chain of memories…
“Why you touch your head? Do you feel dizzy?”
“No, you can continue your story.”
“Nothing else, the story was ended. But I wondered if I already fulfill my promise, his last will.”
Somehow I understand something, and saying while smiling: “Yes, you have! You’ve already fulfill your promise, his last will, my last will.”
He seems to be a bit shocked too, but then he smiles at me. “So you do. You’ve promised to enjoy your live when you’ve awaken, and I can see it…”
“Father! I’m home!”
“Ah, you’ve come home, Jun; your friend is already waiting for you”
“Oh, hi, please go upstairs to my room and wait for me there.”
“Thanks”
When I stand to go to upstairs, Jun’s father says once again: “Now, be a good boy Hiroshi, remember you’ve promised.”
“And remember to stay happy Satoshi.”
“Hey, Kitaro, what are waiting for, let’s go.”
“Alright, alright, let’s go to your room”
Then we play game at Jun’s room. He asks me something: “Why did you know my father’s name, I don’t remember I ever told you about that, and why did my father called you Hiroshi, Kitaro?”
“My name was used to be Hiroshi...”
“And how can my father know it? I become more confuse.”
“I don’t know, I only called your father’s name spontaneously, I didn’t even think that it was his real name, so I think your father did the same.”
“Wow, that’s wonderful.”
“Yes, and if your eyes are good enough, you will see that this live is filled with many wonderful things.”
Now my name is Kitaro, which mean a happy child. I promise I will live happily along this live period. Enjoy your life because it’s really short, like a flowing wind.

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